Still trying to keep up

God, i'm crying so much lately. Sometimes i just don't know why. Other times i'm still sad of quitting my study. I love it so much. And i hate myself so much for failing it. Just because i want it SO badly.
Kids on high school often hate school. Because it so much work. Yea i understand that you don't like school sometimes. But when it so much fun. When you love doing it. And  then BAM, there are some situations  that come out the different way you like. Then it just SUCKS. Yes, in capitals.
It's weird but know i feel like a kid in Africa. I often see commercial on the television saying that they want to go to school and want to be educated. I now know  how they feel. I also want to go to school, i also want to be educated. I'm already lucky that i had preschool and high school. But somehow you became attached to it, a study, a choice you made where you feel happy. A thing you like to do.
It so hard to live without it. It has gone so fast.  It's like they ripped things out of my body like a freak. While not necessary at all.
God, i don't want to cry. I don't want to cry anymore. But i can't stop it now.